body as not knowing what it’s doing and/ body scared everyone else will find out. body using names and numbers to justify it but/ body as/ hips that lock too easy and/ hips that can’t move the same way with/ other body as/ hips can move alone.
body as calling for the boy like a red telephone linked to a city no one wants to save. body ringing off the hook. body old notebook./ back to the boy. boy, tongue in his own mouth, he doesn’t want to kiss me but/ body wants it so bad that body can’t do anything but ask. body breathing in boy like/ cigarette smoke. boy, so far away from body that/ it doesn’t make sense how they’re touching. body of guilt, body of water.
body, curled up on one side in the middle of the bed. body, queen sized bed, too many sheets. body thinking and thinking but/ unable to sleep. unable to speak. body, inside itself, trying to find what helps but does it help when you don’t/ want it anymore. body why. body why don’t you want it. body why don’t you want it any more.
body why do you/ have no mouth. body, what crawled in/side of you and/ never crawled out. body/ making promises to itself like/ that’s going to change the rest of the world. body girl but not girl. body pressing breasts flat every time it hangs out with mirrors. body speaking with stiffness, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, body saying touch me, body saying don’t touch me.
body sending one leg over its head like an/ airplane dropping supplies. body dropping to the floor, rolling, drop, rolling, body rolling over backwards over every time it had to roll over backwards. body useful. body can kick and punch and/ body can break a board in half with the/ edge of its foot but/ body still curls up like a comma/ in the middle of a queen sized bed, body/ breaks and is broken, body/ holds itself up on one leg, both arms, body/ knows what to do with itself when it/ slices through the air like/ bad memories.
body moving when/ no one is watching. body wanting/ no one to be watching. because everyone is watching, or so body thinks. body sinks into stretches like/ head-down could escape from eyes, body,/ all body wants to do is/ escape from eyes/ break things with its thighs,/ body/ searching for reclamation in/ repetition, in/ side kicks and getting/ twisted again, body/ trying to feel for the walls with its hands,/ all body wants is to/ understand, cuz sometimes body can/ barely stand, and/ body learns knowledge on/ hands and knees and/ body needs and/ body feels like disease./ body, please.
Tanya Azari is some fingers and a tongue. Follow her work/mind at heretherebesomething.tumblr.com.