body aching to know touch again | Hana Shafi

body aching to know touch again
to know fluidity
i see my lover’s pain
as my body tenses
seizes up in the heat of the moment

who has ruined me?

body wondering what skin is,
asking where my sex went off too
rigid somewhere in the darkness
i see my lover’s eyes
his patient sadness

i want to come undone
to feel myself unravel
i want to melt in his hands
like honey in hot water
merge together in steam

GOD answer me now! who has ruined me? was it you?

i want to know, i want to know
how to love my image and open softly
how to feel like liquid, like wine, like insides, like glistening pink insides,
how to feel, how to breathe, my body is aching to know touch again.

GOD, WHO HAS DONE THIS? WAS IT YOU?
WAS IT THE PAST? WAS IT THE HURT? WAS IT THE
VIOLATION. ANSWER NOW GOD. ANSWER!

god is silent, my muscles are against me
freezing to his fingers, i am an untouchable woman
who just wants to be touched.
curse this body. CURSE THIS BODY!

who has ruined me? was it you?

————
Hana Shafi is a journalist, artist, and poet hanging around Toronto. She spends her spare time doodling, ranting, and re-watching Lord of The Rings. This piece was previously published on tumblr.

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