falling in love with smart boys | Courtney Leigh

everything i say is wrong
my language incorrect, intention
is invalid
emotions are a course in science
where we hypothesize each
others’ feelings & experiment
on their quick bleed
what we’ve determined is this:
the movement of the tongue
is the direct effect of our hearts’
botany, but of course i am
no flower & you’ve made it
perfectly clear i am only flesh
& that a heart is meant for nothing
but to bleed into the body
but i am still wrong & the heart
is only a filter, an engine
& i am still wrong because
i am not a machine
& i am no longer clean
so we move on to test poisons
their effect on my breathing
how they stain my throat
one color & my tongue, another
what we’ve determined is this:
my fingers turn deep blue
before the incubus fucks the blood
& organs & bone out of me
thus, he comes post-mortem
& i in my regamortis
am still all wrong

————
Courtney Leigh’s work has most recently appeared in Ginosko Journal, Thank You For Swallowing, & is forthcoming in Hermeneutic Chaos. Her chapbook “the unrequited <3<3 of red riding hood & her lycan lover” is forthcoming in Dancing Girl Press’ catalogue. She currently resides in Phoenix, Arizona & is The Bowhunter of White Stag Publishing.

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